Last summer, after taking a few blows in life- lost my job, finally let go of the thought of being with a particular fellow, and being financially broke- I chose to try something new. I figured I’m in the city of my dreams, a place with limitless possibilities, and coins or no coins there was something available for me. I actually tried a few things at first.
I did breathe work meditation, took an acting class (I really wanted to do improv), and Toastemasters.
I have a gift for speaking, but honestly I get really shy so improv and Toastemasters seemed like a good idea to break free from my shy persona. Although the initial classes were free I would eventually have to pay for them and it just wasn’t that serious so after the first time I never went back.
Trying to do something new that propels my self- development is important to me, especially as a woman and a Virgo because I have identity issues. I need a space that I am identified as ME not me and my boyfriend/husband or me and my best friend, Just Me. So often people try to attach themselves to other people or things as a comfort or safety net and give their power to those things outside of themselves. Having a healthy relationship is my number one goal and has really helped me to be a better person to others.
So, after kicking acting classes and Toastmasters to the curb I found meditation to be fulfilling and something I did just for me. Plus it didn’t hurt that it was located in Harlem my favorite place in New York. The first three months I didn’t even tell anyone that I was taking the class. It was my little secret, rightfully so. After a couple of years of trying to learn to meditate on my own this class has been a huge help.
In the beginning, I was struggling to do it right looking back I realize that was retarded you can’t breathe perfect or imperfectly. I kept going even in my feelings of being inadequate to breath and get out of my brain, but after six months of continuing to go again and again every week I’ve been able to go to another level in myself and spirituality.
I’ll admit I still can’t really sit down at home and meditate because just like with a personal trainer I need that push to keep going when I want to quit or fall asleep. Falling asleep is so easy to do in the class because your breathing relaxes you after a while.
I find myself breathing through emotional situations now and even great moments in my life when I just need to breathe in and out the joys of life. Breathing is natural and a cycle of life going in and out.
Now that its been almost a year I’m ready to tackle a new hobby (while continuing this one of course). I want to continue to evolve. Breathing has been great for my spirit, and I think now I want to focus on my feminine energy. I already feel myself growing into my womanhood in a unique way over the past couple of years. Connecting my feminine energy, spirituality, and body in a new way to feel more empowered and challenge myself at another level are now my intentions.
I believe self-love is the best love because no one can take it away, but like any other relationship it has to be maintained and continue to grow to prevent stagnation or even worse death.
So, as I slowly (yeah right) approach my birthday and continue to create a life I love and enjoy this new hobby that I’m still debating on what it should be will add to my life’s journey, along with the many other things I already enjoy.
Any suggestions for my new hobby? Do you have something that you do for yourself by yourself? Leave a comment.